Ambition was never really my thing. Dreaming? Yes. Doing? Not so much.
It was always easier to judge how other people lived their lives than to improve my own.
As a military wife, I spent a good chunk of my time adhering to my husband’s schedule. When he had to work, I was bored. When he came home, I was available. I’m not complaining about live’s little luxuries, but I’ve never had it in my heart to be a stay at home wife…not even when I became a stay at home mom a few years later. (Read about that here.)
I was bored. Here’s a little idea to ponder: if you have time to be bored you have time to build a substantial business. Yet, instead of doing anything constructive with my time outside of the typical routine chores, I was just…time wasting.
Addicted to reality television. Thumbing through trashy tabloids on the daily. Weighing myself down with the over saturated comparison of celebrity lifestyle and my exciting-less life. I was happy, sure. But I was unchallenged. Undetermined. Unable to understand why none of my dreams were coming true.
The longer I went without a purpose outside of the roles that I fulfilled, the more dissatisfied I became. Years of no confidence and low self esteem started to pile up. I was outwardly smiling while suffering through a lot of inward turmoil.
What was I going to do with my life?
Here are the top 5 habits I stopped when I became a transformation coach with Beachbody, that made the biggest impact in my life to date:
1. I stopped watching reality television cold turkey. I know, this one sucks. I was a mega product of my gen (see, I even abbreviate words like a pro). I was addicted to the dramz (see what I did there?) and it was becoming my whole life. Like, I didn’t have one because I was so closely watching people I didn’t know live theirs. When I stopped watching so much tv, I found I had an incredible amount of time to pursue one of my old favorite pasttimes: reading. And reading good, high quality content (can I get an #amen for personal development?)
2. I stopped eating fast food. Again, cold turkey decision. I was eating fast food like 3-4 times a week. I could blame it on our recent move, the fact that my house had been in boxes for 4 months straight. But I may as well call it like it was: laziness. I didn’t have the drive to do what I needed to do to make myself feel good again. It was so much easier to pretend that every box of fries or medium chocolate milkshake wasn’t really adding to my weight gain. But it was, and I was uncomfortable in my own body. I gave it up, took it off the table as a non negotiable, and I haven’t looked back since. 2 years later, I hate fast food.
3. I stopped making excuses. I lived with social anxiety in one form or another my entire adult life. I think. Some of my young adult life is a blur of alcohol induced craziness, but the rest of it, yea, I was totally insecure around people who weren’t my tight knit circle of friends. But not just insecure, my body flat out reacted to my discomfort. As a result, I resorted to excuses to dismiss me from having to figure it out. I needed a drink to relax. I’d rather watch tv than go make new friends. I can’t go to the grocery store because I don’t know which aisle the honey is in (this really happened). I let my anxiety be my excuse, instead of making it my reason. Once I flipped that switch, I overcame my social anxiety and started living in a way that I had only ever imagined before: confidently.
4. I stopped caring what other people thought of me. This is kind of huge for someone who previously identified as socially anxious, because that’s all social anxiety is… the overwhelming FEAR of what someone is going to think of you. The longer I went down this unbeaten path of living my life completely transparent on social media, the less I cared about pleasing others. You don’t like what I post? Peach out, dude. You know where the unfollow button is. Life is too short and there are too many miserable people to spend any energy trying to make everyone like you.
5. I stopped letting my fears stop me. I used to think being confident meant having all of the answers, knowing exactly what to do in every situation. That’s not it at all. It isn’t knowing how to handle every situation…it’s knowing that you can competently face any challenge. Even for those of us who were new to the “courage” game have a 100% success rate of overcoming any adversity in our lives…because we’re still here, we’re still standing. Being insecure and afraid, means focusing on what you can’t control. Confidence is focusing on your win record.
When you stop these 5 habits, you gain so much more control over your mood and your life. Why would we hand that power over to something that doesn’t add value to our lives? What habits do you need to stop to feel happier with yourself, today? Will you?